Second day

This was a far better day for England and cricket as play ebbed to and fro, England in the ascendancy with Stuart Broad, Alistair Cook and Joe Root all reviving their reputations though of course it’s now meaningless. Again I will assume readers have read reports and followed the events unfurling so will content myself to a few observations.

The first is on the current state of play with umpiring and rule enforcement.

We have now reached the farcical state where breaches of the laws are not enforced.

I am referring to umpires not calling no balls immediately.

They are now picked up only on the DRS referral. Tom Curran’s foot was well over the popping crease, the umpire should have seen it and called it well before the young bowler celebrated his first Test wicket whilst David Warner was half way off the pitch.

We had the further unsatisfactory referral of Shane  Marsh which was inconclusive so the umpire’s decision was upheld and this would have been the case had he been given out. James Vince was given out when the video said otherwise but he took Cook’s advice not to refer. India won’t implement the DRS (don’t refer Sachin) so it’s not universal anyway. I also believe it  detracts from the drama of cricket as you cannot be sure if you can celebrate a wicket or not.

My second observation is the type of person that now attends a cricket match.

Behind me, bless him, was a person diligently scoring every ball in his book. I could  imagine his loving record of every match he attended. Next to him was the more familiar figure of the know-all. When David Boon’s name appeared in a trivial quiz on the scoreboard I would lay odds he would tell the story of his prodigious drinking feat on a plane to India – it was 52 cans of Fosters, not 88 as he recalled.

Then there is the exhibitionist. Some were dressed in Hawaiian shirts, one posh-looking chap looked rather ridiculous.

We also now have the Richies who in their silver wigs and beige jackets replicate the great commentator. With an execrable trumpeter and endless atonal renderings of Waltzing Matilda, they really get on my nerves.

I couldn’t imagine that the great man would find them at all amusing at all but would dismiss them with a dry observation.

Yesterday I referred to taking your seat mid-over. Two in the row ahead of me from did so when Steve Smith was removed causing me to miss the ball all together.

It was stifling hot and the group looked exhausted in the comby taking us back to the hotel. Needless to say one had to make unwelcome conversation on donating her finished crime novel to the hotel who quite understandably did not want to receive it.

yours

Curmudgeonly of the MCG.