Back on the road again (not)
As regular Rusters will know, on the face of it my driving record – now encompassing two separate six month disqualifications for amassing 12 speeding points in a single clutch (by which statement I mean to refer to the fact that after three years duration each “offence” is treated by the authorities as having expired and drops off one’s tally) – is not of the best.
My general defence to the above – one which holds sway with neither magistrates nor the law – is that I regard myself as a better than average driver who keeps a constant look-out for potential “trouble” on the roads yet (that point having being registered) one whom, on an open road, then proceeds in an orderly fashion by maintaining a distance of some 200 to 250 metres between himself and the car in front, this being (in my judgement) the distance within which, if an emergency should suddenly occur, I could comfortably come to a halt without colliding with it.
If said car in front is proceeding at 45mph in a zone advertised as imposing a maximum speed of 50mph then (as night follows day) everything is and will be uncontroversial as regards the law.
However, if the car in front is travelling at e.g. 56mph in that zone – I repeat, with me proceeding some 200 to 250 metres behind at exactly the same speed – and even otherwise all is in order, safe and as it should be – then unfortunately it seems that, since about the year 2002, the authorities have had me on a “hit list” of drivers-to-be-deliberately-picked-upon … and I will be automatically “pinged” for exceeding the 50mph speed limit.
[Separately, in the meantime, whilst driving around the nation in the above mode, including when proceeding along the road in a section under the imposition of a 50 mph speed limit and occasionally being “pinged” for speeding at say the above 56 mph, I cannot help noting the fact that I find myself being routinely overtaken by vehicles of all kinds in the outside lane hurtling past at speeds anywhere between 65 mph and 95 mph. Some of these disappear into the distance as if taking part in a movie car-chase whilst others, annoyingly, after going past me then choosing to pull over from the outside lane into mine in front of me and then slowing down again … which then requires me, in order to return to my preferred 200 to 250 metre gap between myself and the car in front, to slow down to e.g. 44 mph. And that’s not the end of my “beef” with the authorities: about eighteen months ago my son took me out on the road in order to teach me how to drive “cute”. All it meant was that he kept an eye out for wherever the speed cameras were placed and then – e.g. on a 50 mph stretch of road – he deliberately accelerated to 65 mph or even 70 mph in between the cameras, slowing down to 50 mph simply in order to pass each one … before then accelerating away again afterwards! I told him that – despite the fact he was never troubled by the authorities – I regarded his version of driving as inherently far more dangerous than mine and yet (quite unfairly in my view) I regularly picked up speeding points for travelling at fractions over 50 mph in a 50 mph zone.]
The main purpose of my post to this organ today is to record that over the weekend I finally received my new driving licence which contains (1) my new address; (2) a new mug-shot photograph of your author; and finally (3) a slightly different format to my previous licence which in part betrays the fact that I am now one of the driver upon the roads of the United Kingdom who has passed his 70th birthday.
The background to this development is that the “speeding offence” which took me beyond the 12 points “consideration of a disqualification” threshold occurred as long ago as January 2021.
My case did not come up before the beaks [magistrates] until July 2021 – and, when it did, did so in an uncontested form achieved by my deliberate tactics of (1) admitting the offence that would take me to the 12-point threshold; (2) by ticking a box, avoiding having to appear in court (the normal mode of proceeding in any case where a disqualification was on the cards) and instead having my case considered by the beaks in my absence, thus saving everybody time and cost; and (3) declining to offer any mitigation at all for my offence.
The last of the above was a decision entirely based upon practical considerations – partly that I had figured metaphorically “humbly bowing my head, appearing contrite and not wishing to waste anyone’s time” was the best demeanour to adopt in the circumstances– and partly upon the private advice I had received from a local magistrate who informed me that – although every defendant was entitled in law to make a plea of mitigation, and in person – de facto (though the general public were not to be told this) all magistrates were routinely issued with “practical directions as to how they should proceed” which categorically stated that – however and whatever mitigation any driving speeding fine candidate up for a prospective disqualification might submit, it was to be completely ignored.
Given that last point above, I had decided that all forms of mitigation were essentially pointless … so why bother?
In signing off, I would just record here that my six months driving ban actually ended in February 2022, before which I was permitted to apply for my new driving licence … and I had to wait until 11th April until it was issued and received.
At this point – almost three weeks after I received my new licence – I have still yet to get behind the wheel of a car at all.
Instead, in an effort to appear edgy and a bit of an “outlaw”, I am deliberately not doing so at the moment in order to “to cock a snook” at the authorities who banned me by demonstrating to the world that I don’t care that they disqualified me in the first place.
I’m sure that today they are feeling suitably chastened and embarrassed as a result …
