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Oh Jackie!

Tim Holford-Smith 'fesses up

As a young man, I’m not quite sure why, I confess that found Jackie Kennedy (later Onassis) strangely attractive in a sexual sense.

I suspect my devotion may have been borne of a sense of human compassion and sympathy for her in respect of JFK’s philandering nature and assassination, perhaps leavened by a conviction or hope that – as she approached the age of 40 – she might best seek consolation of a sort with an English public schoolboy virgin who was gagging for it.

This fact or affliction was given a significant boost towards the end of the 1960s when three paparazzi-style snaps of her sunbathing and standing naked on a Mediterranean beach were published in an ‘underground’ magazine [possibly International Times or Oz, I cannot say which for sure].

Today, on the website of the Daily Mail, I spotted a review of a new biography of the America Camelot’s First Lady – Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, A Life Beyond Her Wildest Dreams by Darwin Porter and Darnforth Prince [Blood Moon Productions, 2014] – that is published next month.


It seems that, from what the authors claim, Jackie Kennedy Onassis was a bit of a goer and had affairs with not only both JFK’s brothers – Bobby and Teddy Kennedy – but also with movie stars such as Warren Beatty, Peter Lawford, Paul Newman, Gregory Peck, Frank Sinatra, William Holden and Marlon Brando, but a whole lot of others as well.

If true, the implications are far-reaching.

By extrapolation, it appears that – had I made a trip to the United States of America around 1970 and arrived there still possessed of my faculties and a pulse – sooner or later I would probably have fallen into the former First Lady’s clutches.

Today, for the benefit of National Rust readers, I wish to make one thing clear.

In the words of another former President of the United States, Bill Clinton … “I … did … not …. have ….sexual … relations … with … that … woman …”






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About Tim Holford-Smith

Despite running his architectural practice full-time, Tim is a frequent theatre-goer and occasional am-dram producer. More Posts