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That’s it – I’ll get me coat

Arthur Nelson decides to sign off

The advance of female equality and emancipation knows no bounds – and not always in a good way.

We have all experienced the phenomenon of enjoying too much of a good thing. For example, if you were an ice cream fan and suddenly got locked in an ice cream shop overnight, within two or three hours you’d have become pretty disinterested in eating more of the stuff.

These days, it seems to me that women are so interested in exploring their sexuality and being liberated that they spend the majority of their waking hours thinking of practically nothing but sex. Never mind the fact that it’s also constantly being pushed at both genders in advertising campaigns, movies, television programmes and every glossy magazine in the newsagents.

Only this morning (Friday 11th July) there is a brand new article by Caroline Kent about the benefits of one night stands on the website of Daily Telegraph – see here – DAILY TELEGRAPH

As I sat at the breakfast table first thing this morning in my pajamas, slippers and hearing aid, listening to Radio Five Live whilst tapping the head of my boiled egg, my Marmite ‘soldiers’ of buttered toast ready and waiting, I came to a far-reaching conclusion that I probably should have reached at least five years ago.

I have decided to retire from having sex with women.

The trouble with the modern world is that, if by chance you should ever meet a new lady and get on okay – viz. to the extent that you invite them to have a spot of lunch with you in order to continue the conversation – almost inevitably you’ll end up having to deal with the fact that she’s bound to want to have sex as well.

What is so outrageous about the concept that, if a man invites a lady to lunch in order to continue their previous conversation, he only wants to enjoy his time at the trough over an extended chat?

As opposed, I mean, to finding himself hauled off afterwards to a foreign bed afterwards so that she can have her wicked way with him?




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About Arthur Nelson

Looking forward to his retirement in 2015, Arthur has written poetry since childhood and regularly takes part in poetry workshops and ‘open mike’ evenings. More Posts