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The Tanner Report

Lets start with three statistics. I like statistics as they don’t lie, contrary to what Disraeli says, or rather they do so less so than the average Premier manager. Fulham have now conceded 50 goals in 23 games; we have the worst goal difference in all 4 divisions; Berbatov and Bent have scored 10 goals between them in all competitions.

Alan Curbishley and Ray Wilkins have been brought in off the pitch, but only Dempsey on it to redress matters. Lack of investment and of goals, and goal difference, could easily relegate us. One Fulham fan called me in the week. He said with typical gallow humour that Ray Wilkins was sacked 15 years ago for failing to get us into the championship. Now it looks as if he will succeed.

As for the game against Swansea last night, both goals scored by the home side came off the back of Fulham players Hangeland and Berbatov, adding to his tally. Deflections are always termed ‘wicked’, a strange use of language as they are surely innocent. Meulensteen fielded his A side, ‘A’ for ageing. This usually holds out for the first half, but cannot do so in the second. At least the the B team fielded in cup games is youthful and can keep going for  90 minutes, even in atrocious conditions. We desperately need to get 3 points this Saturday against Southampton at home, who played well against Arsenal, because after that we have 2 away game against Manchester United and Liverpool. With the recent passing of Dennis Turner, these are unhappy days at the Cottage.

About Alan Tanner

After a distinguished military service in the Catering Corps, Alan Tanner did well in mufti with his chamois as a window cleaner. Sadly he had to retire after falling from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy's mock Tudor home. He spends his retirement watching and writing about his beloved Fulham whom he has supported for over 50 years. The Alan Tanner Report is sponsored by Tanner Crystal Clear Ltd, Window Cleaners to the Gentry. More Posts

2 Comments on The Tanner Report

  1. sundays_are_for_fiorentina // January 30, 2014 at 2:52 pm //

    Can we count on the in-form Alan Tanner to give us the do’s-and-don’ts as the transfer window moves into its final two days? Who are the players we should add? What does Alan make of the rumours? Alan is a self-professed window man, and this is Fulham’s most important window in many years. Alan, commentary and analysis, we desperately need your “window cleaning” now!

  2. The National Rust // January 31, 2014 at 6:10 am //

    Thanks. However the days are gone where there was a massive gossip exchange as the board is now more disconnected from us fans. I used to hear the odd gem perched outside the window of a mock Tudor mansion of a player but alas no longer . We do seem active with 4 new players and the Greek God unless the Hammers kibosh this transfer. Good to see the chairman releasing funds but hope its not too late as signings take time to integrate

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