KARAMBA! I have finally come to my senses …
[I begin today’s post with my usual disclaimer/declaration of interest.
I’m a political agnostic who has long believed that the Establishment class are little more than condescending, self-interested, ‘holier than thou’, Snakes & Ladders game-players who love the sound of their own voices and regard the electorate as little more than a mass of inconvenient cannon fodder – a personal view which incidentally I find reinforced every time any of them appear in the media.
I would cite the current Brexit debate as a perfect case in point.
Furthermore, for the record lest any new Ruster is unaware of the fact, I have only voted once in any electoral process – national, local or referendum – i.e. in the 2016 EU Referendum and on that occasion for two reasons.
Firstly, that having reached my sixties without ever having voted, I thought I’d make a once in a lifetime exception just for the hell of it.
And secondly, hating all Scots on principle as I do but regarding Nicola Sturgeon as – although terminally misguided – at least sincere and honest, I had taken at face value her announcement that she would seek a second Referendum on Scottish independence if the UK voted Leave and I therefore saw voting Leave as the best route to shedding the ghastly ball & chain of her nation that had been the UK back from a great and prosperous future for the past four centuries.]
Yesterday, half by chance and half by design, I saw no fewer than three debates between Leavers and Remainers on television.
I ought perhaps to mention here that, for the avoidance of doubt – once the 2016 EU Referendum result was made known – sensing that my job was done, I immediately discarded any adherence to the Leave point of view and returned to my agnostic default position that all politicians are scallywags and not to be trusted.
However.
One thing struck and stayed with me as I watched these debates – and I began to wonder whether anyone else had formed a similar view: Rusters might wish to let me know either way by sending a postcard to the usual address.
It was simply this.
Besides the old chestnuts that in June 2016 the electorate was lied to by the Brexiteers … that at the time it had no idea what it was voting for and therefore should have an opportunity to vote upon the deal (whatever it is) now that it had become clear just how bad for the UK it is going to be … and – this a new one – that we should have another Referendum in any event because all those who have passed the age of 18 since June 2016, if they should vote Remain, might sway the result towards staying in the EU … the Remainers yesterday all seemed to be banging on about how much better off economically the UK would be if it remained in the EU.
My immediate instinctive reaction was to hone in upon a fundamental aspect of the Brexit debate which hitherto for me had been hovering in the background – viz. the issue of democracy and accountability.
Let me expand.
If I’ve got it correctly, the thrust of the Remainers’ case is that so great are the economic benefits of UK access to the EU Single Market that – with business and commerce always needing certainty over the opposite – straightforward logic demands the UK must stay within the EU, in which position, apart from anything else, we would at least have ‘a seat at the table’ and therefore the capacity to influence EU decisions on everything.
As opposed to being on the outside, subject to EU tariffs or whatever, smothered in bureaucratic paperwork, and totally unable to influence the endless rules on everything emanating from Brussels/Strasbourg.
A no-brainer, one might think (and presumably most Remainers do).
But hang on.
Supposing I was a Leaver who had finally woken up and smelt the coffee, come to his senses, and at last seen the light. And was wavering towards accepting that another vote (even a second EU Referendum on the deal as we now know it) was probably worth having, even if it meant we remained in the EU.
And there’s a certain other logic that springs from that, isn’t there?
Since staying in the EU would, although (as it were) preserving our economic certainties and allowing us back in close proximity to the EU’s warm comfortable bosom, also mean that we’d be back as only one of twenty-eight players at the table (and possibly with more to be added) with therefore – on past evidence, both via innumerable occasions when the UK’s positions on subjects great and small under discussion has been routinely ignored and specifically when David Cameron went upon his fruitless ‘begging bowl’ tour of EU countries trying to extract concessions that he could use to prevent the UK voting Leave in the 2016 Referendum and returned with precisely zip (and so kept very quiet about it) – virtually zero chance of influencing anything … I’ve nevertheless just had a brainwave that might swing the day in favour of Remain!
It is this. Since (as Remainers contend) we are going to be so much better remaining in the EU forever – and should never have even considered leaving – why don’t we have a second Referendum and all vote Remain? After all, it’s the only sensible option.
And, when all that is done and dusted, we could get on adapting to the new situation and why don’t we begin by doing some housekeeping?
First up, I’d suggest that – since in future we’d then be relying upon the EU for everything whilst also having no say at all in what that might be – let’s start by doing away with the Houses of Parliament, with its 650 MPs and, of course, the approximately 750 peers of the realm who have the right to sit in the House of Lords.
After all, they won’t be needed once we’ve nailed our colours to the EU mast. Who cares about democracy? We’ll all be sitting around relaxing, rolling in the euros being splurged upon us by our EU masters.
We could turn the Houses of Parliament into a museum to democracy. You know the sort of thing – holograms of the great moments of historical past, e.g. the Roundheads turning out the MPs in the 17th Century and Winston Churchill giving his “We shall fight them on the beaches … WW2 speech, being played in the House of Commons chamber, now turned into a lecture theatre.
Merchandising shops. Exhibitions of historical pieces, e.g. an original copy of Magna Carta, the House of Commons mace, the embalmed body of Jeremy Bentham. (Endless possibilities here).
I could go on.
The country would save literally squillions of pounds by getting rid of all UK politicians. And whilst we’re about it, why don’t we withdraw our fat-cat MEPs as well?
All they’re doing at the moment is drinking fine wines, Belgian beer and scoffing steak & chips on expenses, whilst watching the size of their pension pots soar ever-skywards on their iPads and smartphones.
I should estimate that we could probably save ourselves about £250 billion per annum by those few measures, plus also possibly create ourselves a nice little earner in the form of the new Houses of Parliament museum/theme park.
VOTE FOR A SECOND REFERENDUM NOW!
VOTE REMAIN!
(YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE)
(KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON … ER … UP THE KHYBER!)
