A plague upon them all!
Holding, as I do, a life-long aversion to exercise I have never understood the supposed benefits of travelling anywhere by bicycle.
In fact I’d go further than that and mention that I hate all forms of two-wheeled transport and am totally resistant to the arguments put about in the PC-brigade’s various campaigns over the decades to promote cycling as a means of remaining healthy and saving the planet at the same time.
All such ‘right-on’ posturing really does is hoover up and spend good taxpayers’ money after bad on loony schemes to create cycling highways in our major cities that cause traffic chaos for everyone else. It’s all part of a self-perpetuating and ever-expanding PC-correct ‘industry’ that is rendering permanent damage to British creativity, inventiveness and business development.
The truth is that the only regrettable aspect of national economic growth in the UK down through history (on the rare occasions it actually happens) is that it gives further opportunities for endless ‘do gooders’ to come out of the woodwork and browbeat the average Brit on the Clapham omnibus with their supposed moral conscience-based imperatives.
In times of stagnant economic growth (or worse) you don’t tend to hear too much from them because, of course, they’re actually too busy trying to find jobs and earn a living to support themselves and their families, just like the rest of us are obliged to do all our lives.
Left to my own devices I’d ban all two-wheeled conveyances overnight.
Everywhere they go they get in the way of car, van and lorry drivers with the result that we’re all prevented getting anywhere on schedule.
Furthermore, in taking up valuable space upon our roads, they also add millions of pounds of cost to UK transport and indeed cause thousands of tons of noxious fumes to be spewed into our already-polluted air every year as law-abiding motorists become grid-locked in traffic jams trying to get past them.
They also get knocked off their bikes several times a week, cause innumerable traffic accidents and are a terminally-difficult obstacle to development of the NHS by clogging up hospital wards and rehabilitation/physiotherapy lists with their injuries and recovery periods.
And then please don’t get me started on the way they weave in and out of urban traffic at great peril to other road-users … and, of course, cause potential chaos to both motorists and pedestrians riding on pavements and/or shooting traffic lights set at ‘red’ wherever they come across them.
Listen up ladies! Put away those dreadfully unflattering lycra shorts and jerkins … stop doing untold damage to your nether regions … and instead order in a supply of monster-sized packets of Ferrero Collection chocolates and a dozen Magnum bottles of Waitrose’s San Leo Prosecco and then get the girls round for a session!
I’ve been doing it for years …
