Back in the old routine
Saturday 3rd February 2017: Anglo-Welsh Cup, final round of the group stage: Harlequins v Sale Sharks @ The Stoop, kick-off 7.45pm: Result – Harlequins 10 Sale Sharks 13: Outcome – Sale Sharks qualify for the semi-final stage (Harlequins already qualified for same but author as yet unclear whether or not they have secured a home semi-final).
In the grand scheme of English rugby union things the Anglo-Welsh Cup is unimportant – a competition treated by its participants as the last refuge of teams that have been dumped out of contention for everything else. Which is why it has suddenly become of keen interest to Quins, now being as our apparent final remaining opportunity for silverware in what has become the damp squib of our 150th anniversary season.
It’s an odd competition anyway because of its group structure and scoring system. For reasons that few (certainly not me) can understand, the teams are divided into groups in which the teams don’t play each other – but rather play teams in other groups and then the semi-finalists are decided by how many wins and/or bonus points each have amassed.
As a result Quins, having won three games out of three, had already qualified for the semi-final stage before last night’s clash on the opposite side of the A316 to Twickenham Stadium where at 4.30pm or so this afternoon England will host France in the second game of the 2017 Six Nations tournament.
A victory last night would have guaranteed Quins a home tie in one of the semi-finals. Meanwhile, simultaneously Sale Sharks also had a dog of their own in the fight because – if they could prevail – they could still qualify for the knock-out stage.
Yesterday, having been away in the country for a good proportion of the week thus far, I had a number of domestic chores to do first thing in the morning and – by the time I had ticked off all the necessary boxes and returned home for a late lunch and then my habitual post-prandial snooze – I had spent the best part of £200 upon laundry and food shopping for the weekend. I slowly ‘came to’ with a cup of tea in front of an episode of Antiques Road Show transmitting on BBC1 but not a great deal of enthusiasm for the evening ahead.
Here I have to be honest with you. Given the weather forecast (potential strong winds and rain – some were still predicting the belated arrival of Storm Doris) and Harlequins’ form at the moment, the sap in the Williams veins had been decidedly stodgy all week.
In fact, if only had live television coverage of the match been available on either Sky Sports or BT Sport – which it wasn’t – he had been contemplating simply staying at home with a bellyful of ‘spag boll’ and two or three beers and using his creative grey matter to ‘create’ this report overnight – whilst, of course, maintaining the pretence to the world (and indeed the Rust authorities) that he had braved the inconvenience and indignities of a four and a half hour round trip over to south-west London.
However, for good or ill, noblesse oblige and I duly set off, heavy-duty sweater zipped up to the chin and wearing my favoured Musto yachting jacket and Barbour cowboy hat, to the Stoop.
Towards the top of this piece I referred above to the ‘damp squib’ of the Quins 150th anniversary celebrations.
This time last year those around where I sit at the Stoop had been positive in their ambitions for the programme, this against a background of general agreement that, whatever even the terminally under-powered Quins management instigated, it couldn’t possibly be as feeble as Bath’s equivalent in 2015/2016 [all I had personally seen of that was a tiny badge on the players’ shirts that you could miss if you blinked – to all intents and purposes nobody in the country had been aware that it was Bath’s 150th season].
Er … yes it could.
Amidst the other ‘averagely interesting’ initiatives, somehow they managed to design a special spiffo retro-looking Quins ‘shield’ logo to go on clothing merchandise on which, unless you took out a magnifying glass and stuck your face against it, you couldn’t possibly read the inscription saying it was celebrating the club’s 150th anniversary, not least because it was in the same coloured thread as the rest of the badge!
This was a classic junior artwork designer’s error – i.e. coming up with something that looks nice but totally fails to get its message across. Any fule no (as Molesworth could have told you) that, with any design or branding, the message is not just the most important aspect, it’s everything. The design itself is just ‘execution’. Quins got it the wrong way around.
A bit like their performances on the pitch this season.
Last night upon arriving at the Stoop I nipped into the merchandising shop. The thing that really bugs me is that the new, modern, proudly-proclaimed, ‘Harlequin’ logo (with totally superfluous word ‘Harlequins’ underneath) looks naff. Furthermore, 90% of the merchandising clothing currently on offer is of what I would describe as ‘north of England, shell-suit brigade’ look and quality.
It’s tat, basically. Not of a quality that a club with a premium brand like Harlequins should be aiming for. It’s symptomatic of a general problem, without a doubt.
As for the game it was pretty much a stereotypical Quins outing this term. For all the effort on display it was low-key, undynamic and lacking in verve and confidence.
We were never ahead on the scoreboard (it was 3-10 to Sale at half-time) and with three minutes to go frankly I was relieved that the score was 10-10. It was about then that the Sharks mounted a wave of sharp attacks, camped near the Quins line and then prompted us to give away a penalty near the posts.
10-13 to Sale Sharks. On the play over 80 minutes, they deserved the victory. Quins certainly didn’t as those of the reported 6,800 crowd sitting in my area of the stand readily agreed.
By then the wind was gusting near gale force, the bitter cold and rain increasingly pervasive. I eventually reached the sanctuary of home nearer to 11.00pm than 10.00pm.
