Events, dear boy, events
Harold MacMillan’s famous dictum applied more to the political arena than the domestic one but it’s an apt one for a series of mini-disasters at my home over the so-called festive period.
The first was the collapse of a Venetian blind. I had long informed the local blind company that the pulley on the extreme right could not tolerate the degree of pressure required to lift it. This view was based on the advice of my handyman and empirically as it bowed and collapsed on several occasions.
On the 21st December the fitter came to re-thread the blinds and explained how they should best be hoisted.
Three days later only a nimbleness of which I was hitherto unaware prevented said blind (after breaking from its bracket) landing on my head.
Needless to say the blind company did not reopen till yesterday. What is galling is that, conscious of the accusation that London buyers have made housing unaffordable for locals, I try to patronise local businesses only to find them in most cases unpunctual, sloppy and unreliable.
Next up, on New Years Eve a section of my kitchen was without electricity.
I duly examined the board, I flicked up one switch and “let there be light”.
The only problem was that the dishwasher, at least five years old, had a fatal seizure and now needs replacement.
So it was hand-washing for Tickler.
Third up, came at 2.30am yesterday when I was awoken by a dribble of water on my feet.
I saw its cause was water coming down from the ceiling through the cord of a light.
Although I’m the type of guy who gets disproportionately annoyed by little things e.g. something dropping to the floor, I pride myself that for the big crisis I keep cool and soon impose an order of priority.
First, what is the cause? Second, what can I do about it?
A bucket.
I duly called our 24 hour security service and a burly fellow called David came round.
He knocked on the door of the upstairs flat. It transpired a radiator had burst: he cut off the water supply. There is a musty smell and some damage to the ceiling, but I had the incident under control as I resumed my sleep in the spare room.
