Funeral for a friend’ s mother
Yesterday I went to the cremation and reception afterwards of the mother of a close friend of mine. I doubt if I met her 10 times in her life, never visited her home, nor her mine but that was not the point . It was the correct thing to do to pay my last respects and to be there for my friend. In the Jewish religion the burial takes place in my view with unseeming haste preventing some genuinely from being there . For others they have an excuse not to attend .
Jamie and his mother , a religious education teacher stayed the bank holiday weekend and there was some discussion on funerals and religions. Nowadays they take the form more of celebrating life and a humanist presides over the ceremony. The Jewosh orthodoxy is very much against cremation and the frazzling of the soul. Over the years I have got to appreciate more the cremation . My perception of it once was your group was bussed in,cheesy music played ,a few tributes paid and the the body committed to the furnace. Now it’s more upbeat with the coffin curtained off. A booklet of remembrance with photo and music carefully chosen personalises the occasion.
Yesterday my friend made a worthy, witty and appropriate tribute to his mother. To paint the full picture he had to speak of the divorce with his father and her tendency to gossip. I’m not in favour of airbrushing a person’s faults at obituary stage. I recall years ago at one funeral when the officiator said the deceased did not have an enemy in the world at least two around me said ” wanna bet”. It’s also said of one Hollywood movie mogul that his funeral was so well attended as mnay wanted to make sure he was dead. My friend cast her in words perfectly and although I did not know her well she was depicted as she was.
Afterwards we were invited to a reception at nearby golf club. It was beautiful day and a group from my friend’s advertising company sat al fresco under a tabke by the putting green. I instinctively head for an Australian director of the company . Though I cannot call a close friend always enjoy his company. He has that openness and humour of the Antipodean covering a shrewd strategic mind . We soon discovered we had many friends in common from the world of commerce and the time passed pleasantly. Around this time of year I invite my p/a Polly and her best friend Grania for dinner . I asked my friend to recommend a place . His super efficient p/s on the table with us immediately volunteered to make the reservations as its very popular. My friend’ s mother was highly sociable and she would have approved that her last hurrah witnessed the organisation of a social event.
