“Goodbye cruel world …” he said, but couldn’t remember why …

Hello – this may be one of my last messages to my fellow Rusters if the latest reports in the media prove to be true – or should that be ‘come to fruition’?

Today I appear before you honestly yet nakedly as a 70 year old male with a slight tendency to obesity – I’m not prepared to reveal my BMI score on this website but suffice it to say that that it is unlikely I shall ever partner a three year-old nag to glory upon Derby Day at Epsom – whilst also being in the habit of (1) sleeping fitfully for three to four hours upon retiring on or before 9.00pm every evening; (2) then waking to spend from about 1.00am until 11.00am at my computer before gradually becoming a zombie; before later (3) and taking a post-lunch afternoon nap of up to 80 minutes … in order to ‘recharge my batteries with enough juice’ to enable me to stay up as late as 8.00pm to 9.00pm.

Having spied the following pieces on The Independent overnight, I am feeling a little sorry for myself:

Zamira Rahim reports upon a new scientific research study that points to the conclusion that fat people end up with smaller brains – see here – THE INDEPENDENT

Alex Matthews-King, medical correspondent, reviews new research evidence from America that tends to show that lack of sleep – or is it lack of good quality sleep? – is probably an early sign that Alzheimer’s is on its way, rather than necessarily an actual symptom of it. See here – THE INDEPENDENT

First of all, my brain in shrinking even as I type … and at some point after eating my pie, chips and pint of Theakston’s Old Peculiar at 12.45pm sharp I shall spend approximately an hour and twenty minutes snoozing on top of my bedroom duvet acquiring another cumulative dose of Alzheimer’s that will eventually send me ga-ga.

It’s a man’s life these days when you’re possessed of a Senior Citizen’s Travelcard.