My “remote” sporting weekend
The most notable impression that I took away from my personal sports-following (via radio, television and newspapers) over the weekend was that – when the time eventually comes to look back upon the records of the years 2020 and 2021 – it will only be fitting to place asterisks against them to signify the absence of crowds … and everything that goes with them … from sporting arenas.
I’m talking here about the very top echelons of sports and games, of course – not the bread-and-butter local community-type sports clubs and activities which for the most part were effectively banned from operating during the bulk of last year because of the Covid-10 pandemic crisis.
This fact materially affected my weekend “at home” spectating fare featured today, none of which appear below in any order of importance.
THE BOAT RACE
First up, the joint non-events that were the 2021 men’s and women’s (Oxford and Cambridge) Boat Races, coming to us “live” on BBC1 yesterday afternoon from the River Ouse at Ely in the middle of the Cambridge fens.
The difficulty for all concerned – starting with chief commentator Andrew Cotter and main presenter Clare Balding, supported by ex-Olympic stalwarts Matthew Pinsent, James Cracknell and Katherine Grainger – was to make rowing, one of the least spectator-friendly sports known to man or woman, interesting to the television viewer.
The one thing to be said about staging the Boat Race on the Thames in central London is that at least to a degree one can enjoy “the sense of occasion”.
Watching crews heaving themselves down a narrow straight stretch of water miles from anywhere devoid of crowds lining the banks was always going to be an uphill battle, especially since we had been informed beforehand that 90% of their training had consisted of hundreds of hours spent solo upon personal rowing machines at home.
Even trying to add “feature” material about the 6 feet 3-plus beanpole participants (and that was only the women) was a struggle.
At least 50% seemed to be over-age postgraduates from around the globe and frankly, the awkward and rather giggly-childish groups-of-three-at-a-time interviews served up only reminded television viewers that we were essentially being allowed a privileged insight into a word in which a bunch of admittedly intelligent and “entitled” toffs were just basically messing about in boats.
Both races were little more than over-commentated processions in which the Light Blues prevailed.
For me the most telling/fascinating aspect of which was the post-race interview with the losing Oxford men’s crew conducted from alongside by an interviewer sitting in a motor boat. He asked three of the crew in succession for their reactions to their defeat and – to be fair to them – all three were so exhausted, devastated and dejected that none of them could utter a single word.
EUROPEAN RUGBY CHALLENGE CUP
Last night whilst waiting to watch Line of Duty, the BBC1 cause célèbre drama series of the moment at 9.00pm, completely by chance I happened across “live” coverage of the second tier European rugby union match between Harlequins and Ulster on BT Sport (kick-off 8.00pm) being played at the Stoop.
This – or at least Harlequins FC, who in their chequered history have proudly won this competition three times – should have been sued under the Trades Description Act.
As we “arrived” at the ground and presenter Martin Bayfield previewed the action it rapidly became apparent that the home team had “disrespected the occasion” by blatantly prioritising instead their push for a top four finish in the Gallagher Premiership.
They had opted to rest their entire first team and instead field a “make do and mend” bunch of fringe players, academy kids, those coming back from injury and (lastly) anyone who hadn’t yet played a single game this season.
Fortunately for me I was able to switch to BBC1 at half-time, at which point Quins were 7-29 down, and (I learned overnight) the final score was an eight-try victory to Ulster by the eventual margin of 21-57.
This sort of thing shouldn’t have been allowed – it was a disgrace.
PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL
Elsewhere, yesterday via radio – out on my 90-minute afternoon walk – I had listened to the Newcastle United v Spurs 2-2 draw and also taken in TV snatches of Southampton’s 3-2 victory over Burnley and Aston Villa’s 3-1 victory over Fulham.
In all of the above my “sense of it” was that the broadcasters were making the best they could of an inferior situation but – simultaneously, somehow – without the atmosphere (and everything else) that a sell-out crowd brings to the occasion, the matches were essentially artificial.
The commentators might as well have been describing some computer game version of football, or perhaps (an exaggeration to make my point) two flies walking up a window pane.
Cue the asterisks, Mabel …
