Something of a first

Yesterday for the first time I attended by Zoom a memorial service to commemorate the life of an old family friend.

The person whom I will refer to as J was a real character.

He dressed and behaved like a Lord but never as far as I knew had any career.

He was entertaining, a beau, a gentleman of the turf, who attended 45 Royal Ascots consecutively, outrageous but always fun.

He was gay and I wondered how this would be treated in a service conducted by a rabbi. The answer was there was no reference to his sexuality.

His younger brother E spoke movingly of how J ran away from home aged 16 and until 20 years ago they had no relationship.

After that they forged a closer one although J spent the latter years of his life in Goa.

I recalled a dinner at his parents’ years ago where we had much fun with a mask of a monkey.

We were driving home when J appeared alongside in a Mini Cooper driving down the busy Seven Sisters Road, wearing the mask.

There was never a dull moment when J was around. Through him I joined a dining club called the Whitefriars.

He knew an exotic gay called C, with whom he had a racehorse, who built up a business empire of rented flats, a nightclub/restaurant and a high class menswear boutique who became a close friend of my parents.

C used to say that something can come out of the most unlikely circumstances as  he became a patient of my father and spoke very well of both my parents, entertaining us all lavishly at his restaurant club.

The sad thing about the service was that the officiators did not know J and, belonging to an orthodox Jewish networking group, seized the opportunity to deliver sermons on the Torah. However participators were invited to share their memories.

People like J can offend with their outrageousness but they do enhance life, even in death.