Voyage half-way through?
A snapshot of Thursday 18th May 2017.
Just another General Election campaign day: another manifesto; several carefully ‘stage-managed’ appearances in front of the media; hundreds of journalists searching in vain for an Election-related story remotely interesting to them and indeed their viewers, listeners or readers; another pack of party grandees queuing up to appear on the airwaves to peddle stock answers, phrases and different ways of not answering awkward questions …
Oh – and in the evening on ITV at 8.00pm, chaired by news anchor Julie Etchingham – the first set-piece first great Leaders’ Debate of the campaign, to which neither of the only two politicians who are actually capable of becoming the new UK Prime Minister on 9th June bothered to turn up.
As it happens, although for most of yesterday’s daylight hours I had my radio and/or television playing in the background tuned to news stations and channels, I have to report that at 7.00pm I made myself a Heinz-tinned mulligatawny soup and a cheese & tomato sandwich, plus a stiff gin & tonic. These I consumed whilst half-watching BBC1 (tedious editions of The One Show and Eastenders) and then at 8.00pm – faced with the option of watching an Eastenders spin-off drama or the aforementioned ITV Leaders’ Debate – decided to go to bed instead.
There’s only so much that an able-bodied UK voter can take.
First high – sorry, low – light of the day was the launch of the Tory Manifesto from what looked like an underground bunker (formerly some redbrick factory) in Halifax.
The ‘event’ began at about 11.50am and fortunately – since I was always intent upon watching the Daily Politics show hosted by Andrew Neil on BBC2 at noon – I only had to suffer about eight minutes of Theresa May at the lectern before the BBC 24/7 new channel passed the baton.
Mrs May’s presentational problem is her personality. She doesn’t have one.
She typifies a particular strain of Establishment politician, viz. the earnest, hard-working, committed and driven ‘do-gooder’ who – the average punter reluctantly accepts – can be useful to have around (since they’re prepared to undertake all the tough, dirty, really boring jobs that do have to be done, but preferably not by us).
But that’s it.
Mrs May’s type of politico has a basic problem. Unless they can get themselves adopted for a rock-solid ‘safe’ Tory or Labour constituency, their chances of being selected as a candidate is small. Because, in any selection process, their lack of charisma and people-friendliness is going to tell against them, as it will subsequently if they ever have to go out and meet the voters on the street.
Frankly – in the latter scenario – they’re like fish out of water. Stiff, stilted and programmed to do ‘people-connecting’ stuff by numbers, they’ve got little small talk, their body language is awkward and they constantly look as if they’re highly-dependent upon the security of an aide passing them a baby-wipe after every handshake (after all, you never know what bacteria the average man in the street might be harbouring).
For them ‘going out and about ‘ is just an irritating once-in-every-five years-unfortunate-necessity imposed by election law.
Clearly Theresa May and her handlers have been honest with each other in the common cause. Their conclusion? She’s not at her best ‘on the stump’, or as herself, so let’s restrict her public appearances to ‘set pieces’ in front of Tory voters and certainly as few open ‘media question & answer sessions’ as we can.
Any why give a hostage to fortune in the form of a joint TV Leaders’ Debate, in which – by definition – the incumbent Prime Minister has little to gain?
Firstly, because these events are effectively personality contests – and therefore lotteries – and losing ones if you go into them with no personality to speak of.
And secondly, because everyone else involved – even those with less than a snowball’s chance of being elected, or (Party-wise) winning more than two or three seats in total – gains plenty, simply by being given (as necessarily they must for the broadcaster to maintain the appearance of being impartial) the opportunities for equal billing and ‘airtime’ as the incumbent.
Certainly, by all the media accounts and reviews I have read overnight, last night’s ITV Leaders’ Debate was – as I had expected – a huge anti-climax and let-down.
Cringe-worthy almost – one journo described it as no better than an argument in the lounge bar of a pub.
Second lowlight of the day came – as previously indicated – ironically only ten minutes into the Tory Manifesto Launch, when BBC2 viewers were lucky enough to be switched to the Daily Politics show hosted by Andrew Neil.
Appearing on it for interview was Dominic Rabb, former Tory MP for Esher and Walton [as we must temporary call him, since whilst the election campaign is on, all MPs are dismissed and described solely as ‘candidates’].
Mr Rabb comes straight from Central Casting as a Tory politician, bedecked with relentless bonhomie, righteous smugness and an unlimited capacity to spew hot air by the yard.
Andrew Neil did his best yesterday but (I felt) had switched – as indeed I had – to ‘autopilot’.
As evidence I put before you his later bizarre studio encounter with a representative of the Workers Revolutionary Party (or similar) whose election ‘call to arms’ aimed at his supporters was “Vote for Labour in any constituency that the WRP isn’t standing!”
When by Neil asked how many constituencies his party would be standing in, the proud answer came back “Five! And three of them in London! …”
But back to Mr Rabb.
As Andrew Neil lobbed up his questions and tried to pin him down, in reply Rabb offered nothing but smarm and greasy oil. The interview began nowhere and stayed there. As this became apparent, even to the interviewee, he went to Default Position 2 – in which he blustered “You’re asking me questions with the benefit of having the Manifesto in front of you, Andrew … I’ve been on my way to the television studio for the past hour …”
In other words, “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about and I’m not going to make myself look a fool by admitting that to you on BBC2 … because if I do, I’m sure I’ll end up on YouTube and Twitter alongside the footage of Boris’s latest gaffe, whatever that is …”
