A cremation

Yesterday I attended the cremation of the mother (Megan) of a good friend at Wessex Vale near Fareham.

I only met the lady once and she struck me as having all her marbles, well-read and well-informed. I knew her son well enough to express my concerns for a lady of 94 living on her own.

Her son said she would not have it any other way. My concern proved accurate as she fell down the stairs a few weeks ago and never recovered.

In preparing myself for the funeral I had various concerns, namely dress and transportation.

I am of the generation that wears sombre dress for a funeral.

In selecting a tie for my white shirt I chose a dark polka dot.

As for transport, I had to get to Fareham – easy enough as it was on the main south coast line – but rely on others for lifts to the wake and station.

My friend offered but I thought he might be involved in the reception.

At the funeral both my friend and his brother wore a fashionable blue suit and floral ties. They had conferred and decided their elegant mother would have wished this.

I was introduced to man whose father played bridge with Megan.

The father, a Czech refugee, ended up as chief food scientist for Reckitt and Colman and invented their hot mustard.

He adopted the name Dett, which I recognised as a person who instigated a rebellion in Norwich – where Reckitt and Colman were based – in the time of Henry VIII.

I also pride myself in knowing more about Czech history than most. In particular Czechoslovakia has always had a thriving armaments industry which was one of the reason for the Nazi invasion under the pretext that the German speakers in Sudetenland were oppressed.

I was rewarded for all this knowledge by a lift to Fareham station.

I was also interested to see the lie of the land of an area knew to me. The villages with a mix of new and old housing, the yachties on the Hamble, the twin ports of Portsmouth and Southampton, reflected an affluent community. Yet somehow it did not seem to have an identity of its own.

In our secular society cremations are becoming more popular.

In a religious service often the officiator will not know the deceased at all but the celebrant, often a humanist, takes more trouble to personalise the ceremony.

Also photos, a booklet and music add up that personalisation.