An occupational hazard

Regular readers will be aware that my relationship with the speed limits displayed upon the roads of Britain has been slightly less than perfect during the fifty-plus years since I passed my driving test.

Not to beat about the bush, it is fair to state that during the course of this period I have had notched against my name a large number of speeding offences – indeed, several years ago now, I was once banned for six months for having accumulated 12 current points on my licence (even taking into account the “period” after which specific offences “drop off” one’s record – is that three years?) – and in the process become a source of uneasy legend and shaken heads combined with wry amusement within my circle of family and friends.

One of the incidents that most regularly gets mentioned when people make fun of me was the time that I picked up yet another “speeding ticket” whilst on my way driving to the latest “speed awareness” course that I had been obliged to attend in order to atone for a previous offence.

From time to time it is my cross to bear that I have to respond to incredulous queries posed as to why I just don’t obey the speed limits – whatever they are, and in whatever location they are imposed.

I have also been given advice about how to “beat” or “manage” them – e.g. by either (1) simply keeping a look-out for “speed limit” signs beside the road and making sure that I abide by them; or alternatively (2) by learning where the police’s speed cameras are located and then … after driving at whatever speed I like between them (e.g. 50, 60 or 70mph) … always “slowing down” to whatever the speed limit is when I drive past them.

My response to (1) above – i.e. that I should observe the law and abide by speed limits – is that I regard myself as an unexceptional but careful driver.

I have only once in five decades been involved in a motor accident – which was none of my fault –  i.e. when as a student driving a Mini I was hit from the side by a car that inexplicably decided to emerge out of a side road as I (on the main road) was driving past.

I always drive at what I regard as a “safe” speed and at a distance behind any car in front of me which I have calculated will enable me to bring my car to a halt before hitting them (if ever an emergency should arise). I maintain a wary and beady eye upon the state of the road, the state of the traffic and a similar look-out for potential threats or dangers – whether they be other vehicles, pedestrians, motor bikes, low flying aeroplanes or UFOs.

In short, I regard myself as a most responsible driver. However, (as I would see it) my single flaw is that I don’t necessarily keep alert on permanent look-out for speed limit signs.

Let’s take a hypothetical case in point.

De facto, for example, (whether I know this or not) I am driving through an area in which the speed limit is 40mph.

The car in front of me – let us say 250 metres ahead – is travelling at 43mph. I will be travelling at 43mph as well. In the road/traffic conditions prevailing at that moment neither of us is going to be a threat to anyone.

Thereafter – as far as I can tell – with both myself and the driver of the car in front of me travelling what just happens to be 3mph over the supposed speed limit on that stretch or road, he will get away with this marginal excess scot-free, whilst I will always be “pinged” for going over the 40mph speed limit.

Furthermore, there will also be vehicles haring past me in the outside lane at 60mph and/or then cutting back into my lane just in front of me so that I immediately have to slow down in order to return to my chosen safe distance 250 metres behind them.

As regards the alternative (2) above – just to remind readers, the notion that the sensible way to avoid speeding offences is, whilst driving as far in excess of any speed limit between speed cameras as I please, just to make sure I slow down sharply enough to “go through the next (each) speed camera I come across” at a speed under that which they are purporting to impose.

I regard that – to state it starkly, potentially driving everywhere at 70mph but then just slowing down to (e.g.) 40mph as you pass every speed camera you approach – as  both fundamentally dishonest and far more potentially dangerous.

If, as an alternative, I drive at 43mph all the time and keep a sensible distance behind the vehicle in front of me, surely that’s far less dangerous to myself and indeed all other road users?

Don’t get me wrong, I do acknowledge that my reasoning above is hardly going “to butter any parsnips” as regards finding either favour and/or sympathy with the three half-wits sitting on the magistrates’ bench when my case comes up before them – as it assuredly will – because the speeding offence I’m currently dealing with will inevitably take my points accumulation up to 12 and no doubt another automatic ban.

One downside for the authorities is that “taking me off the road for a period to supposedly teach me a lesson” – when and if this happens at some point in the future – is that for the next few months the motoring exchequer will be sorely missing the regular income that they have been happily collecting by letting me drive upon the UK road network.

(P.S. Let’s not talk about the other two speeding offences I’ve picked up since …)