Bedroom success

One of my father’s party-pieces was to declare to anyone who would listen – as often as not, female attendees at family functions or drinks – that “All I know is, I haven’t had my fair share …” (by which he was referring to sex). I well remember the occasion when he deployed it at a cocktail party when I was standing beside him at the age of seventeen or eighteen and the lady we were talking to responded “Oh that’s not true, Philip – you must have had it at least three times!” (referring to his three children), a statement that probably said as much about her attitude to sexual needs as it did his!

Nevertheless, when it comes to what might be described as ‘success’ with the opposite sex – by which I mean to refer to the number of sexual partners each of us has had – whilst every man and woman might secretly have an occasional tinge of regret in the style of my father, my suspicion is that, looking back upon our own lives, most of us feel that we each ‘got it about right’. I guess it would be sad if that was not the case.

In other words, irrespective of the number of sexual partners being referred to, we are content to accept that our number is within an ‘acceptable’ zone for us as a human being (given our attitudes to life, our upbringing, our morals, our position on the spectra of firstly, from extrovertism to introvertism and secondly, from high sex drive to low, and perhaps also the circles we have moved in).

To put it another way, if the subject ever came up in conversation – whatever the circumstances – and we heard someone else admit that their ‘number’ was appreciably less than ours, we might tend towards the view that that individual had somehow ‘missed out’ … however, if they were proudly to confess to a much higher figure than ours, we might or might not say anything but – by the same token – we might either feel slightly envious, or alternatively privately regard them as either a lying braggart and/or bit of a tart.

All of which brings me to my text for today.

Overnight I spotted an article by Abigail Beale on the website of the Daily Mail, reporting on the findings of a new research study which seem to demonstrate conclusively that the more altruistic a person is, the more success they’ll have what we might discreetly refer to as ‘the bedroom department’ – see here – DAILY MAIL

This seems to me to explain quite a lot.

I don’t mind admitting that I am perfectly happy in my own company and that I think there are far too many cars on our roads, too many people going on holidays via air travel and too many people using railways and other public transport.

Just too many people, basically.

Furthermore, I’m just not that interested in meeting new people – in fact I’d far prefer it if I met less than I do. I’ve never been more than fleetingly concerned about the lives of other people, what they’re getting up to, what their problems are, or indeed how I could make their existence better. I’ve been rather too busy trying to concentrate upon making my own passably satisfactory.

That said, I have also been wondering since about 1978 why my ‘score’ was so meagre and it’s rather comforting to learn, albeit some thirty eight years later, the reason. Too late to do anything about it now, though …