Cruising the high seas
When I successfully bid for a cruise at the charitable Ladies’ Night of my Masonic lodge I was in two minds whether to go or pass it on. I have never been on a cruise and surely it is the preserve of rich widows. However an old school friend of mine, with whom I lunch every 6 months and knows me well, thought I would enjoy the experience. He stressed that unlike an airline-based trip you have less hassle as your excursions are organised but you stay on board. Certainly we all found 5 hotels, coach and air travel in 10 days in India hard work. He also said the cruise line holiday I had won was very high-end and I should expect fine dining, so much so that he and others said the greatest risk was the putting on of weight as you can eat all day and night. When I mentioned it to Daffers she said that her publishing house wanted her to write a book along the lines of “Cruising- the last last romantic travel experience” and was up for it.
The stay at the Shangri-La hotel had set us up nicely in luxury mode for the embarkation yesterday.
We were duly conveyed to the cruise port of Singapore and the immigration and security procedures were far shorter and less intensive than at an airport. We were greeted on board by staff in Xmas hats and a glass of bubbly. All good so far except for the Xmas carols broadcast over the tannoy but I do not suppose they would be playing “For all those in peril on the sea”. I also had my own butler a Filipino who appeared, as butlers do, beaming away in a black morning frock coat and silver tray like a more benign Oddjob. I sent him on his first errand, to locate my luggage. It took a couple of hours for all the luggage to arrive at the passenger cabins and, as this was a cruise ship for some 300 guests, I could only speculate how long this operation would take at a one of those super liners for 5000.
At 5 we had to present ourselves at a muster point for a compulsory safety drill. We were formed into lines of four and I felt I was back at school again.
I was stuck under a lifeboat with water dripping on me and because of the tall fellow ahead of me could not see how the rescue staff demonstrated you fasten the safety life belt. It is an Italian company and my mind strayed to that liner which went aground whilst the captain sung. We also had to wait as, notwithstanding a tannoy and written announcements, 3 cabin guests failed to arrive. Lord knows where they were.
At 5-45 we were summoned to another convening; meet the various ‘departmental’ heads of recreational activity. The cruise operatic tenor doubled up as the safety instructor on the drill. I did wonder how well I would cope with all this regimentation. As soon as I could I made my excuses and left and strolled around deck. At that moment the sun was setting over the skyline of Singapore and I realised that Daffers was right, cruising is the last romantic travel experience left.
At 7.00 pm I was again summoned to the Panorama bar for a drink with solo travellers. A quartet played and two couples danced extremely well.
It did however just need Peter West to be a Come Dancing, my fellow solo travellers were rich widows in the main and familiar with cruising.
We had a tour host, an elderly Chinaman who was a skilled ballroom dancer. He seemed less equipped conversationally to host an eclectic bunch that included 2 rather brash Australian ladies, a Swiss widow, a Yorkshire lady and a man from Dorking who enjoyed his wine and had an opinion on anything and everything.
Our host organised a table in the main restaurant. The dinner of cream of Asia mushrooms and Dutch veal followed by Pistachio ice cream was quite delicious. I managed to find a topic of mutual interest with the Swiss and Aussie widows but I was also mindful of the advice of Jamie’s uncle, a seasoned cruiser, that cruising is about dining and avoid bores at all cost.
By 10 I was ready for bed and Oddjob had prepared the cabin. He left the tv on with our route on display and – try as I could – the handset could not switch this off. Oddjob was now off duty but a cabin boy arrived to execute this simple task. The bed and bedding were perfectly comfortable but undulated with the waves, which I found to be unsettling. On it however was a full list of activities for the day ahead …
