It had to come sooner or later

It was bound to happen one day. It is common knowledge among Rusters that one of our columnists on this esteemed organ – who shall remain nameless despite having previously blogged about it himself – is in a relationship with a female robot and, so far as any of us know, is blissfully happy.

Now, in the tradition of the famous quip “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, we learn that a research mathematician – a mathematician?!? – Dr Cathy O’Neil of Harvard University – is claiming that the ongoing rapid advances in robotic and artificial intelligence raise the possibility that at some point not too far away in the future women will do away with men altogether and begin living with ‘menbots’.

After all, if the latest Christmas present fad is those portable static artificially-intelligent household command centres that can control your lights, fridge, cooker and heater … answer simple general knowledge questions … and run your diary appointments without ever making a mistake … what sensible modern female would dismiss the possibility out of hand?

And please don’t get me going on the subject of vibrators and sex toys – one can safely assume that, wherever there’s a potentially profitable market demand, there’s soon bound to be a manufacturer ready to do the necessary.

Why would not every multi-tasking, time-pressured, high-powered female business executive have an extension built to her walk-in wardrobe in order to house her stash of well-endowed, intelligent, sensitive, understanding male robots (perhaps each with different physical characteristics, hair and eye colours – and yes, even a variety of ethnic origins, personalities and attitudes) … any one of which she can choose to spend her days, or nights with, as the mood takes her?

Especially if they’re also happy to clean the house, chauffeur her about, do the household shopping, look after the kids and walk the dog … to order, even when she’s not even around?

Here’s my message to all male readers. Follow this link to a report on Dr O’Neil’s claims penned by Phoebe Weston as appears today upon the website of the Daily Mail and be very afraid! – DAILY MAIL