Koh Samui
Visiting a place by ship has distinct advantages over other transport. No baggage to carry and the cruise ship has simplified immigration procedures so you only need their key card, no passport. Yesterday I returned to Thailand for the third time in 3 weeks to visit the picturesque island of Koh Samui. Once the destination of backpackers and famous for its moonlight raves its fine beaches attracted a more general clientele and it is now one of the most popular venues for tourists. We were first taken to a coconut grove. Trained monkeys can scamper up the trees and gather 700 coconuts per day whilst a human can only manage 200. Our next port of call was to an elephant show. The two elephants could massage humans, dance and one take a penalty. I was not alone in speculating to what the trainers subject them to to achieve this. We then visited a rather spectacular Buddhist monastery. As you can see, these are not austere like European ones – though monks have to renounce 220 things – but richly colourful with the water providing serenity.
Another benefit of the cruise are the lectures on the country you are to visit. This was broadcast on the tv too and I learned much from it.
Beneath the cheerfulness of the locals which gives every impression of contentedness there is a big political divide between the reds who support the previous and deposed Premier Thaksin Shinawatra (and his sister who followed him), who implemented agrarian reforms, and the yellows who are more establishment – supporting the monarchy, military and status quo. Our guide explained that this divided families much, as Brexit did: her mother is a red, her father a yellow and it was clear that her sympathies lay there too. She regarded Shinwatra as a rich, corrupt politician. With his abundant wealth and constituency amongst the poor he seems a Peronist figure. To add to the division in the south there is a Musim insurgency movement.
On the boat, I had the buffet lunch with the 2 lively American sisters. One had lost her husband. I was beginning to learn sooner rather than later in conversation you hear of two things – bereavement or illness, and sometimes both. One sister was preoccupied in using her laundrette. With all the luxury and pampering you might have thought there would not even be a launderette but there are several, each in demand. Perhaps it’s the laundry cost of $3 for underpants that motivates the search. So much so that the American lady’s first job on re-embarkment was to dash to all three laundrettes, all of which were full. I could see that the two sisters were animated company but, as with most Americans, conversation turned to matters financial quickly. One sister complained her daughter had never repaid the $50,000 loan for her medical fees, a confidence a Brit would never disclose so early on first acquaintance.
I returned to the cabin to hear the lecture and learned inter alia that in The King And I, a role which Yul Brynner played for about a quarter of his life, was inaccurate as the King only came to power aged 40 and before that was an educated Bushhist Monk and no simpleton deferring to a westerner. Indeed it is doubtful if he ever met the woman tutor he arranged for some of his 80 odd children. As the lecturer expanded, what would a Thai think of film in which George Washington had a Chinese chef and relied on his advice all the time.
I was invited to a meet at the first time travellers cocktail reception. Again this exposed the lack of any social understanding. The crew staff stood in inline outside to greet and I was then ushered to a single table. I explained that surely the idea was to be introduced and meet other guests and not to sit on your own but this seemed to perplex the Filippino waiters. Eventually I gave up, sat on my own, had a couple of gin and tonics and was joined by the chap from Dorking I met on the first night. His background was financial services and he seemed something of a bon viveur. Again it did not take him too long to bring up his prostate cancer but he also referred to a six foot Uganda girlfriend of which he seemed rather proud. The true purpose of the reception was revealed when a senior executive made a sales pitch for the company’s other cruise ships and voyages and told us all that we would all return because we are family.
After this there was a late night show, a homage to divas by soul singer Alfreda Gerald. She looked that she been round the buffet rather too many times but she could belt our numbers made famous by Peggy Lee, Aretha Franklin, Gloria Gaynor, Barbara Streisand and Tina Turner. The Australian widow with gastric cancer was there and I felt obliged to sit with her. The cruise entertainment director has invited us its for his table on New Year’s Eve and true to form she had invited her fellow team Trivia companions to it too. I never enjoy New Year Eve with its faux bonhomie at the best of times and the thought of seeing it in with a group I do not even know is even less appealing.
