Ooops …
You know how – no matter how impeccable our DNA, upbringings or social manners – sometimes we find ourselves saying something appallingly inappropriate, insensitive or crass … and then afterwards either genuinely ‘find ourselves in hot water’, or get mocked and teased about it by others, and/or (at some unsuspecting later moment or moments, apparently for no reason at all) suddenly remind ourselves of it and immediately metaphorically curl ourselves up into a ball of cringing self-embarrassment at the memory?
I had one of those yesterday.
It all began so innocently. I’m a quiet meek and quiet individual, the sort who – not wishing to be insulted myself – would never normally insult anyone else. Yesterday I’d been roped in as one of a number of volunteers at my local athletics track to dish out half-time sandwiches and drinks to participants in an annual Under-18 track & field event.
It’s a fun and chaotic, not to say pressurised, scenario as the kids queue up to collect their allowance – a sandwich, later followed (if they want them) by an apple, a bottle of water and a chocolate bar – during which a healthy banter develops, not least because some of the cheekier ones seek to reappear in the queue in an effort to try and get ‘seconds’ and part of our task is to ensure that nobody gets those before every else has at least had their ‘firsts’.
Amidst all the mayhem yesterday a lad carrying what I’d politely describe as ‘a fair bit of timber’ – and whom I was pretty sure I’d already seen go through before – appeared again at the front of the queue and asked if he could have another couple of sausage rolls.
Suddenly I heard myself responding ebulliently “… are you sure you need them?”
I immediately sensed a certain pregnant intake of breath amongst my fellow volunteers and shortly afterwards began to be teased about my crass comment for the remainder of the afternoon.
It occurred to me later that, in this modern 21st Century politically-correct world, I’m probably going to be lucky if I’m not hauled before one authority or another and publicly shamed for my insensitivity.
Either that, or I’ll probably be put down in widespread anecdotal discourse as a typical example of an unreconstructed superannuated Neanderthal.
Ah well … such is my lot in life.
