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You heard it here first

As the EU Referendum Day draws ever nearer, both sides are filling the media with a snowstorm of claims and counter-claims. Within the past fortnight we have had US President Obama joining in on the Remain side by urging the UK to stay in; Michael Gove (Brexit) claiming that staying in the EU will threaten the collapse of the NHS; and a report that if the 2.2 million ex-pat Brits now living in Europe all had a vote in the Referendum, which apparently some of them don’t, they could easily help to sway the vote in favour of Remain.

Even today we are being told of three more shock/horror developments, viz:

US Director of Intelligence James Clapper claims that ‘EU free movement’ has allowed Belgian-type jihadist terror cells to reach Britain – see here – THE GUARDIAN

The Government has been trying to suppress a Migrationwatch report that EU migration to the UK has been understated to the tune of 50,000 per annum – see here – DAILY MAIL

Britain has paid a minimum of £650 million in ‘fines’ for misspending EU funds given to the UK – see here – THE INDEPENDENT

This plethora of campaigning stories by the respective camps may, as intended, help to decide the final vote one way or the other, but (just as likely) it may not. Neither side can predict the extent to which voters have already made up their minds or indeed, having done so, are telling little porkies to the pollsters in order to confuse them. Greater political entrail-readers than me are floundering in their attempts to get to the bottom of this conundrum, so you might think that anything I say or write on the subject can safely be discarded as irrelevant.

All that said, I nevertheless offer my experience of yesterday for what it may be worth.

fatShortly before 4.00pm I awoke and rose from my afternoon nap, donned my gym kit and stumbled into my front room in south-west London intent on nipping up to my local health club for a half-hearted session in the gymnasium.

At this point, as you do, I looked out of my window and noticed that it was raining heavily, a development that reduced the previous 75% certainty that I was going to go to the gym to 50% or less, depending upon how long the shower was going to last.

I moved to my work table and fired up the computer to kill time, thereupon registering that I had received a ‘missed call’ on my smartphone.

I then called the lady in question, residing in Bromley, and had a brief catch-up conversation before she enquired “Have you had snow today?”, to which my answer was negative. She explained that she had asked because that morning – out of the blue – Bromley had been engulfed in first a shower of hail and then later one of ‘proper’ (genuine) snow, which news seemed absurd for this time of year.

About half an hour later, of all things, the sun came out and the day brightened considerably – as a direct result I then duly steeled myself for the ordeal and set off on my gym quest.

Fast-forward to shortly before 6.00pm, when I emerged from my session, which had included what I would describe as an ‘average’ stint in the cardio and weights rooms (once again in the latter I had been distracted and irritated by the fact that, of the four of us present, two were spending the bulk of their time sitting on apparatus that I wished to use either making calls and/or listening to music on their smartphones), and against a backdrop of dark clouds found myself in the grip of a serious shower of hailstones.

snow-stormBy the time I had begun the descent of the hill back towards my gaff there was a slight pause in the weather followed by a similarly-serious fall of snowflakes. By that description I do not mean a delicate smattering of the non-settling variety but the real deal – heavy-duty, fluffy snowflakes that, if they were to continue for half an hour or more, would definitely leave at least a thin covering of snow on the ground.

This is supposed to be Springtime, with the flowers coming out and the promise of warm summer days shortly to come.

So what did all this mean in the context of the EU Referendum?

It didn’t take me long to reach the revelation that may determine the outcome.

It’s plain for all to see.

If the UK votes to stay in the EU, this is the kind of weather we can expect to get.

Vote Leave, everyone!

Not only will we be able to rid ourselves of the Scottish millstone, but we’ll get better weather … indeed longer, hotter summers as the very welcome global warming we have all been warned about takes hold … and this pleasant land will forever overflow with milk and honey.

You know it makes sense …



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About Simon Campion-Brown

A former lecturer in politics at Keele University, Simon now lives in Oxfordshire. Married with two children, in 2007 he decided to monitor the Westminster village via newspaper and television and has never looked back. More Posts