A new (old) business idea

Whilst we await President-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration in about ten days or so’s time (and, on current form, presumably the end of human civilisation as we know it about a week later), it occurred to me that we ought to be sharing some of our hopes and fears for 2017.

For the past few years, whilst waiting for my weekly investment in Friday night’s EuroMillions lottery to come through, I’ve been constantly trying to think of the new business idea that is going to allow me to live happily ever after  by suddenly burdening me riches similar to those being suffered by Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg.

Recently I came to realise that with the current fashion for slicing the human society into its constituent parts and aiming marketing initiatives at them – we hear these days of the ‘pink [gay] pound’, the ‘grey [old] pound’ and even their ‘transgender’ equivalent – that the obvious way to go (as it were from the inside) for an entrepreneur like myself, who is beyond the first flush of youth, was to aim squarely at something that would ‘float the boat’ of what some term ‘the Saga generation’.

When I mention ‘float the boat’ and oldies I am not necessarily meaning to refer to the saturation-level of four-page pull out newspaper advertising supplements for sea cruises of every description, even though that statement reminds me that I must call fellow columnist Robert Tickler within the next few days to find out the real stories behind his (I felt) rather-sanitised dispatches from his recent six-week tour of Far East fleshpots.

Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the world of Boing! – the new social media website for those over 50.

Bear with me whilst I explain the thought process behind this brilliant new concept.

There must be hundreds of millions of over 50s around the world who get bombarded hourly by references in the media, and by young people around us who can be bothered to lift their eyes from their smartphone screens for long enough, to the modern world of instant communication and the practice of sharing one’s life experiences with everyone they know, irrespective of whether those on the receiving end want to receive them or are even remotely interested.

I’m talking about social media vehicle phenomena like Twitter [or is that too old hat now?], Facebook, Instagram, Linked-In, YouTube, Pinterest, Reddit and Flickr and Google Plus. I’ve seen or heard references to all of these but I really only understand a little bit about Twitter and Facebook, simply because they’ve been around longer than most and all members of the younger generation in my family seem to have accounts with them.

It occurred to me that, if you cannot beat ‘em, you may as well join ’em – (many a good business idea has sprung from this angle).

Over the past couple of years – based upon the plethora of newspaper and magazine articles, stories and discussions on radio and television on subjects ranging from child protection to kids failing to concentrate at school, and just trending ‘social media’ fads – it has seemed to me that in 2017 most youngsters are not only  social media veterans but have been experts at ‘sexting’ [whatever exactly that is, because nothing I’ve ever heard or seen has ever quite explained it to me or indeed the reasons why it is so popular] since about the ages of seven or eight.

So here’s the thing – as so often, the best business ideas can sometimes be the simplest.

Boing! is a brand new social media website for the over 50s whereby we all send each other full-length photographs of ourselves in the nude, or perhaps just close-ups of our genitalia – I haven’t quite worked out the exact details yet, in fact I’m planning to do some internet research later today, and then run a set of focus groups up and down the country, in order to establish what sort of things for which there might be popular demand.

My initial impression, however, is that it could work two ways, which in a sense could be a win-win for Boing!s owners (myself and Mrs Nelson).

Firstly, of course, there is what the great unwashed public out there on the internet might want to see.

But secondly, there’s also the likelihood that many oldies – like myself for example – just want to ‘get into’ the world of social media networking.

And what easier or better way could there be of doing so than popping up on the internet a few snaps of the old ‘meat and two veg’ and saying to the world – “Hey, this is me – whaddya going to do about it?”

I can see Boing! becoming one of the great empowering vehicles for senior citizens all around the world. Let’s make a statement on behalf of our generation by ‘putting it all out there’ and seeing what happens!

Of course, there’s bound to be a few trolls out there just itching to put the boot in and/or try to denigrate a terrific business concept but hey, that’s a sad fact of humanity and who cares about them?

The important thing – as Baron Pierre de Coubertin so perceptively pointed out – is the taking part, not the outcome. The wonderful irony of the Boing! concept is that, although I’ve so far posted just under 200 pix up to my Bong! account since 5.00am this morning, I’ve still not quite worked out why I’m doing it.

Still, businesses evolve as they go along, don’t they? I’m sure somebody will suggest something over the next few days that makes sense …