A new one on me
As some who is rapidly approaching his eighth decade, I find that both instinctively and rationally (not necessarily at the same time) I am constantly adjusting my perspective on what is and is not important, relevant or worthy of my attention. There are some aspects of life that I like to think will always be of fundamental importance to me and the absence of which, if they were one day denied me, somehow existence itself would be left only marginally tolerable.
I leave my readers to work out which ones I’m talking about and/or indeed their own.
What you notice increasingly after the age of fifty is how people around you gradually go the way of all flesh. As do you.
Back when you were in the 18 to 30 age bracket, practically nobody ever got seriously ill or died. Or, if they did, it was a really big deal. Because – on the spectrum of appreciating life mortality – nobody of that age has practically even reached first base.
However, once I passed fifty, the instances of people I knew or was aware of dropping off their perches and/or contracting life-changing diseases or conditions, picked up.
Intellectually one could understand why this might be the case. But then one’s own waistline expanded of its own will, one’s flesh became weaker, and ten various aches and pains – previously ‘once in a blue Moon’ type things -suddenly became more frequent and then constant companions.
At first, these developments cause concerns and worries. And then one day, all that slips away. One gets used to them. Like old friends, they may irritate but they never go away and so one accepts them for what they are.
When it comes to one’s sex life, two of the key issues are need and opportunity. As life progresses, both alter – and everyone gets used to it.
I recall about two decades ago, a former work colleague and friend just past the age of sixty – something of a ‘player’ in his day – advising me that once a man got to his age there were two things to keep in mind. Firstly, to relax. And secondly, whenever (in this he was referring to a by-then decreasing frequency) one became susceptible to a state of sexual arousal, it was vital to make sure you made good use of it.
These days, in my mid-sixties, with “I’ve decided to be celibate”, “I’m too old for that sort of thing”, “I’ve finally withdrawn from the tyranny of the dating game” being just three options for explaining away my personal lack of both need and opportunity, I was somewhat encouraged earlier this week when spotting a media report on the health aspects of human sexual congress in those of advanced age.
Somehow “I’m looking after my health” feels like a welcome and convincing new explanation for one’s lack of success with the opposite sex – see here for the report by Laura Donnelly, health correspondent, on the website of the – DAILY TELEGRAPH