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Articles by Alan Tanner

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About Alan Tanner

After a distinguished military service in the Catering Corps, Alan Tanner did well in mufti with his chamois as a window cleaner. Sadly he had to retire after falling from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy's mock Tudor home. He spends his retirement watching and writing about his beloved Fulham whom he has supported for over 50 years. The Alan Tanner Report is sponsored by Tanner Crystal Clear Ltd, Window Cleaners to the Gentry. More Posts

The Tanner Report/Don Giovanni and a Derby win

Our editor is always keen that contributors from sport comment on artistic performance and vice versa. There used to be a music critic called Hans Keller much parodied by Private Eye who was a massive Spurs fan and these days David Mellor will go to Stamford Bridge as often as the Royal Festival [...]

November 5, 2016 // 0 Comments

A Celebration Dinner

Last night I attended a dinner to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the 1996 Fulham promotion side. This was a  pivotal season and achievement. Fulham were in the fourth tier, the weakest side in London and insecure at our home at Craven Cottage. The previous season Fulham looked at one stage to [...]

October 21, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Fulham 1 QPR 2

It all started so well. In accordance with my ritual my two fried eggs remained perfectly intact which means a Fulham victory. I proceeded to Craven Cottage for the unveiling of the George Cohen statue. This is now my third statue event, a dinner, lunch and now the unveiling ceremony. I invited my [...]

October 2, 2016 // 0 Comments

THE TANNER REPORT : FULHAM 0 BRISTOL CITY 4

Like many football supporters I have my superstitious match day rituals. I always have 2 fried eggs and fried bread. If the yolks do not break in the pan that means Fulham will win, if one does a draw, two a loss. Ominously two broke. Bob Tickler asked me to take his godson Jamie to the game, his [...]

September 25, 2016 // 0 Comments

Fulham 2 Middlesbrough 1

Fulham maintained  their fine start to the season with our fourth victory, last night  over a Boro side from the Premiership and unbeaten since March.  As is the way with the League Cup, both sides played scratch sides but Boro’s looking the stronger than the youthful Fulham one who had [...]

August 25, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report/ Fulham 2 Cardiff 2.

Fulham could not produce the same level of performance of their first three matches and in the end were more than satisfied to earn a  point in this 2-2 draw with Cardiff. Cardiff, managed by Fulham old boy Paul Trollope, an early Ray Wilkins/Kevin Keegan signing at the beginning of the Al Fayed [...]

August 21, 2016 // 0 Comments

Preston 1 Fulham 2

Fulham lie third but surely as it’s alphabetical we should be second behind Bristol City and above Huddersfield. Most of the so-called experts had Huddersfield at the other end and Newcastle who have lost both games at the top. Can we maintain our best start since Jean Tigana’s  side [...]

August 14, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Championship, Brighton, Sussex CCC and Gay Pride

I had two long conversations with Alan Tanner prior to the Fulham v Newcastle game and after our goalless draw with Derby and shared our views with Pargie  anxious for tips. My view is that the chances of promotion are greatly enhanced by having someone at the helm with form in the  Championship. [...]

August 7, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Fulham 1 Newcastle 0

Although Newcastle garnered all the pre-match publicity with Fulham hardly meriting  a mention in the build up, we played with intelligence and passion to achieve a deserved win.  The conventional view was that Newcastle – who had bought in Dwight Gayle, Matt Ritchie and Mohammed Diame [...]

August 6, 2016 // 0 Comments

Old Fulham Meets

Yesterday I had lunch with 2 fully paid up members of old Fulham. They soon established their Craven Cottage cred by stating they had skived off school to watch the 1958 semi final replay with Manchester United which, as it took place after Munich, the whole of the country  except our fans wanted [...]

May 21, 2016 // 0 Comments

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