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Articles by Alan Tanner

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About Alan Tanner

After a distinguished military service in the Catering Corps, Alan Tanner did well in mufti with his chamois as a window cleaner. Sadly he had to retire after falling from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy's mock Tudor home. He spends his retirement watching and writing about his beloved Fulham whom he has supported for over 50 years. The Alan Tanner Report is sponsored by Tanner Crystal Clear Ltd, Window Cleaners to the Gentry. More Posts

The Tanner Report

I have watched Fulham relegated five times and I predict this season will be my sixth. I, the Tannic Oracle, foresee this after a much better performance against Spurs last night. We had far more zip and zest, we had width, we had better defensive organisation but we lost. We lost against a [...]

December 5, 2013 // 3 Comments

The Tanner Report/Goodbye and Good Riddance

Jol is dead. long live Rene. The blood letting was conducted in a civilised if insincere fashion. Chairman Khan thanked Jol for his contribution, Jol praised Fulham as a club, coach Meulensteen who for the second time in 3 months finds himself after 2 weeks replacing the manager says it was not [...]

December 2, 2013 // 1 Comment

Jol must go

What do I find the worst thing about our form? Not that we have 32 points all year, lost our 6 last games, have to endure Jol’s self serving post match interviews, of our last 10 home games, we have lost 8 of them, that we play a game without creating a chance, our performances are gutless [...]

November 30, 2013 // 0 Comments

Passions spill over at the Emirates

Before I fell from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy’s mock Tudor mansion in Worcester Park, I used to do the windows of a delightful Arsenal fanatic Nigel whose family live off Wimbledon Common. As often as not we would repair to the Fox and Goose for a few ales and discuss the travails of our [...]

November 27, 2013 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

We now have lost 4 out of our 6 home games. Time was when we lost that number all season. Jol will no doubt have his excuses accept responsibility and in the same breath blame us fans for booing Bryan Ruiz and not getting behind the team. Fulham’s record is marginally better than Shahid [...]

November 24, 2013 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

The appointment of Rene Meulensteen will come as a great source of relief. For 2 years Fulham have been drifting but not under any real danger of relegation. This year the form has been little short of a relegation team. You never know as a supporter what goes on in the training ground or in the [...]

November 15, 2013 // 1 Comment

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THE TANNER REPORT

The body language of Marin Jol, arms crossed, head lowered is one of a man shortly to go the gallows. We are now in international fortnight when lack of incident will only lead to more intense press speculation on his future at Fulham . I do not feel sorry for him: he is well paid, will get a fat [...]

November 11, 2013 // 0 Comments

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FOOTBALL PROGRAMMES

In the last Fulham programme for the visit of Manchester United we read Brede Hangeland embodies the transformation of the club in recent seasons. It’s that type of Pravdaesque doublespeak that make fanzines popular. Since 2009 when Fulham reached the Europa League Final beating Juventus and [...]

November 6, 2013 // 0 Comments

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FOOTBALL: PLAYER LOYALTY

We asked our 2 football correspondents to consider this issue . ALAN TANNER One of the reasons why Fulham are where they are is the lack of commitment to the cause from the likes of Berbatov, Ruiz and Taarabt. Under the blessed Roy Hodgson, the forwards chased down the opposition back four but [...]

November 5, 2013 // 0 Comments

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