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Articles by Alan Tanner

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About Alan Tanner

After a distinguished military service in the Catering Corps, Alan Tanner did well in mufti with his chamois as a window cleaner. Sadly he had to retire after falling from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy's mock Tudor home. He spends his retirement watching and writing about his beloved Fulham whom he has supported for over 50 years. The Alan Tanner Report is sponsored by Tanner Crystal Clear Ltd, Window Cleaners to the Gentry. More Posts

Fulham 0 Brighton2

Alan and I shared a mini cab to Hove and thence Worthing where he has a bungalow. Alan was gracious enough to admit that the managerless Seagulls were worthy winners and if we survive relegation by three points happy at least they came from Fulham. We hope to do better than this. It’s [...]

December 31, 2014 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

Shortly after Kit was appointed I had a conversation with one of the contenders whose windows I have cleaned for many years. He feared that there would be a bounce factor but we would then plateau into mid table. We always want Kit to succeed as he is Fulham through and through and passionate about [...]

December 30, 2014 // 0 Comments

Rail chaos

In my own minor way I can contribute to the debate on the breakdown of railway travel. I was travelling from Bournemouth to Brighton to spend a few days with Ivan Conway before we both went today to Fulham v Brighton. Like all windows cleaners I am used to getting up early as we often start work at [...]

December 29, 2014 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

Fulham”s match was an important test, a test we failed. Of the top nine clubs, we had only beaten one, Norwich, so we had to prove that if we are to mount any sort of challenge we take points off the big boys. At the moment they do not come any bigger than Bournemouth, the surprise leaders [...]

December 27, 2014 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

This 4-0 thumping of Sheffield Wednesday was arguably the performance of the season. Wednesday had only conceded 16 goals all season so to let in 25% of that sum  was always something. Yet as much praise must go to our defence which has kept a clean sheet two games running. Football is such an odd [...]

December 21, 2014 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

I did not get to Elland Road for our victory over Leeds so here is a report from Chris. He is a high-flier financier from the States who has taken Fulham to his heart. Like many sporting Americans he adopts a statistical approach to his analysis (some of you may be familiar with the Moneyball [...]

December 14, 2014 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

I don’t much like football on Friday nights and nor do Fulham. Aside from a crushing defeat of Manchester City some 16 seasons ago when a German striker Dirk Lehmann who looked like a porn star bagged a brace I cannot recall a decent performance. I remember an all time low when Hayes dumped [...]

December 6, 2014 // 0 Comments

Supporting your team

Yesterday I had a meal with a Spurs supporter and his wife. He never misses a game at home and enjoys traveling away, especially in Europe. I said to him that Spurs is a team that had its best days some 55 years ago but is still rooted in their past. His wife added that throughout their marriage [...]

December 4, 2014 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Brighton v Fulham

The two fixtures I was most looking forward to, Brentford and Brighton have come in successive weeks. Ivan Conway will be reporting on the game but I have been allowed to do the preview. With our old boys, Aaron Hughes, David Stockdale and Darren Bent in the Brighton side, it’s very much a [...]

November 29, 2014 // 0 Comments

Kit ‘s up for it but is he up to it?

Last night’s defeat by Brentford made it two unsatisfactory performances on the trot. Last night’s was all the more galling as the West London bragging rights were conceded rather gutlessly. We took a somewhat undeserved lead after a frenetic first half but the Bees pulled one back and [...]

November 22, 2014 // 0 Comments

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