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Articles by Alan Tanner

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About Alan Tanner

After a distinguished military service in the Catering Corps, Alan Tanner did well in mufti with his chamois as a window cleaner. Sadly he had to retire after falling from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy's mock Tudor home. He spends his retirement watching and writing about his beloved Fulham whom he has supported for over 50 years. The Alan Tanner Report is sponsored by Tanner Crystal Clear Ltd, Window Cleaners to the Gentry. More Posts

The Tanner Report- gilded youth

When Mohammed al Fayed appointed Alistair Mackintosh as CEO one of the latter’s main briefs was to develop the Academy. The priority reflects the nous and vision of our Chairman. At the time Academies were moving out of fashion. The modern manager tends to stay for 2 years so he is not that [...]

February 1, 2017 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report/ QPR 1 Fulham 1

There are three good reasons why Fulham may fail to make the play-offs: 1) we cannot translate possession and supremacy into goals; 2) we make silly defensive errors virtually every game 3) our keeper is not good enough. QPR boss Ian Holloway set out his stall (commentary cliche c. 1998) to [...]

January 22, 2017 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report- Fulham 2 Barnsley O

Inevitably the prodigal son Chris Martin was the headline maker. Before the match over lunch there was discussion as to whether he should play. After all said Nick had he played against Brighton we would have had at least a point, what sort of message does it send to his more loyal teammates? I [...]

January 15, 2017 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report ; Cardiff 1 Fulham 2

Up and down the country crowds emphatically did not turn up for the Cup. At Cardiff the crowd was just over 5100. It was on Welsh TV at the unearthly hour of 11-30 on a Sunday which would not have helped as Cardiff fans could watch it on the telly and it was tough for Fulham fans to make it at all. [...]

January 9, 2017 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report/Fulham 1 Brighton 2

Once again a contrite Ivan Conway observed post-match “we mugged you again.” Brighton won a game which Fulham dominated. But, hey, if you miss a penalty (our 4th such miss at home) you don’t deserve to win. As galling was the fact that our penalty taker Chris Martin does not want [...]

January 3, 2017 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Fulham 2 Rotherham 1

Given our uneven home form (wins over Newcastle, the thrashing of Huddersfield and Reading, both play-off contenders, and losses to QPR and Bristol City) I was pleased to take 3 points off Rotherham. Most teams coming to Craven Cottage will get 10 men behind the ball and hope to get an early goal [...]

December 15, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Brighton 2 Fulham 1

Ivan Conway, with whom I watched the game, was sweet enough to say that a  draw was the right result but if you do not capitalise on your dominance – as we failed to do in the first half and Brighton did in the second – then you will not get even a point. Fulham started the better and [...]

November 26, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report; Fulham 1 Sheffield Wednesday 1

For the third weekend Fulham emulated the Brighten result – and the performance was not much different. After two inspiring wins over Huddersfield and Brentford, once again our home form was unreliable and Sheffield Wednesday deserved their draw. They came with a plan to frustrate Fulham by [...]

November 20, 2016 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report/Don Giovanni and a Derby win

Our editor is always keen that contributors from sport comment on artistic performance and vice versa. There used to be a music critic called Hans Keller much parodied by Private Eye who was a massive Spurs fan and these days David Mellor will go to Stamford Bridge as often as the Royal Festival [...]

November 5, 2016 // 0 Comments

A Celebration Dinner

Last night I attended a dinner to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the 1996 Fulham promotion side. This was a  pivotal season and achievement. Fulham were in the fourth tier, the weakest side in London and insecure at our home at Craven Cottage. The previous season Fulham looked at one stage to [...]

October 21, 2016 // 0 Comments

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