Articles by Alan Tanner

About Alan Tanner

After a distinguished military service in the Catering Corps, Alan Tanner did well in mufti with his chamois as a window cleaner. Sadly he had to retire after falling from the fifth floor of Danny Murphy's mock Tudor home. He spends his retirement watching and writing about his beloved Fulham whom he has supported for over 50 years. The Alan Tanner Report is sponsored by Tanner Crystal Clear Ltd, Window Cleaners to the Gentry. More Posts

Spike Denton RIP

Yesterday I learned on a Fulham WhatsApp group that Spike Denton had passed. He was a colourful character – the sort of working class intelligent entrepreneur that the 1970s generated. He was a hairdresser who organised raves, was film critic of LBC and boyfriend of the successful singer [...]

March 17, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Brentford 3 Fulham 2

Brentford deserved to win the West London bragging rights but I drew some consolation that Chelsea, tenth in the Premier, were not involved. Brentford came out out of the traps the livelier and might have opened their account before they did. The goal which struck a Fulham defender to deflect past [...]

March 7, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report/Fulham 2 Leeds 0

Fulham are in the draw for the FA Cup Sixth Round. It’s our best campaign for many years. Older fans will recall a long route of 6 replays and 12 games in all to reach the FA Cup Final in 1975. This is no longer possible with ties decided on the day/night. Upwardly-mobile Fulham, despite having 6 [...]

March 2, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Brighton 0 Fulham 1

I went to this game as a guest of Ivan Conway. Although it did not affect our friendship we both had wildly different takes on this game. For Ivan Brighton totally dominated the game, Fulham feigned injury to disrupt the rhythm of and the referee had an atrocious game. My view was somewhat [...]

February 19, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Fulham 2 Nottingham Forest 0

More than a few Cottager eyebrows were raised when Marco Silva signed 34 year old Willian. He had in fact played for Shaktar Donetsk against Fulham 13 years ago in our successful Europa League campaign under Roy Hodgson. He had 7 seasons at Chelsea and was particularly effective in midfield with [...]

February 12, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report : Sunderland 2 Fulham 3. FA Cup 4th Round

The Bench is important. A player coming off it can make an immediate impact. It gives the team needed depth in case of injury or suspensions . The success of Brighton, Brentford and Fulham is the more remarkable as these clubs cannot afford a costly bench. In this replayed Cup Tie Marco Silva made [...]

February 9, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Chelsea 0 Fulham 0

The story will inevitably be that the expensively-assembled Chelsea could not beat Fulham. I doubt if there will be any forensic analysis of a league table showing Fulham, Brentford and Brighton above Chelsea and Liverpool. There are many reasons for this: less fan expectation, intelligent [...]

February 4, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report

Yesterday a Fulham supporter whom I have known for many years – and began his support a year after me – treated me to lunch at the Reform Club. I am not a gentleman’s club man, but even so was impressed by its portals, salons and traditions. It was founded after The Great Reform Act [...]

January 31, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Fulham 0 Spurs 1

The story was always going to be Harry Kane beating Jimmy Greaves’ Tottenham goal-scoring record. It took a knowledgeable friend of mine to point out that Jimmy Greaves scored 124 goals in 157 appearances for Chelsea and – in an unhappy time at AC Milan – 9 in 10 games. Jimmy [...]

January 25, 2023 // 0 Comments

The Tanner Report: Fulham 2 Chelsea 1

Fulham won the SW6 bragging rights but the story will be the demise of Chelsea and the future of Graham Potter – not that Fulham, in 6th place, are now challenging for a Champions League spot. The turning point was the sending off of Joao Felix for an over-the-ball challenge on Kenny Tete. [...]

January 13, 2023 // 0 Comments

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A la Colthard/The Arlington

May 18, 2024 // 0 Comments

As the saying goes: “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it …” The Arlington has the same location, decor and menu as La Caprice – the only difference is the [...]
On the trials and tribulations of modern life

May 17, 2024 // 0 Comments

Yesterday at about 3.00pm in the warm mid-afternoon sunshine – after a relatively sedentary day to that point – my “other half” and I decided to go walking at a local [...]
Beryl Cook

May 15, 2024 // 0 Comments

Many years ago I was at the National Theatre for a play I have long forgot. In the interval I went to their bookshop and came across THE WORKS by Beryl Cook. The cover alone [...]
The Tanner Report: Fulham 0 Manchester City 4

May 13, 2024 // 0 Comments

There is no disgrace in losing to Manchester City even though it was a thumping defeat containing only one Fulham attempt on goal. Nor should this defeat disguise the fact [...]
Exeter Chiefs 58 Harlequins 26

May 13, 2024 // 0 Comments

Maybe it was that gruelling Investec Cup semi -final against Toulouse – or maybe the injury to Caden Murley leading to a reshuffle with Marcus Smith going to full back [...]